A Short Reflection of Age Increment

"Life is beautiful. Be grateful for everything you have but keep fighting to achieve every of your dreams"

Age is nothing rather than just a number increment. However the increment of age should be a great moment to do self evaluation. More mature a person should made him more wise and not the opposite, older but become more childish. Hopefully I can became the first type.

Like several years before, this writing will try to reflect what I feel and what I want to be afterwards. Indirectly it will be a kind of evaluation and resolution.

Start from evaluation. I get married now for more than full year. Although I am having long distance marriage but still, more or less I have to try and be more mature compared at the time I was single. But I think I have to be more expressive to show my love to my wife because at the other side my wife also always give many gifts and surprises. Including this wonderful video for my birthday.

And also an awesome cake surprise

Second I already work in Singapore for more than full year as well. There many things I have learnt for that range time. More demanding job and multicultural environment for instance. All of those things are shaping and improving me more.

Next is about what I want to achieve. I want to make it simple and less material oriented. "I want to be always grateful and humble in life". To do some tangible elaboration, I want to be an expert in my field but at the same time can give significant positive impact  to society, perhaps by being a speaker, writer, teacher or just a good programmer which can make some positive contribution (hopefully not become too cliche) for a better world. More specific, I want to be a good father this year (hopefully Allah can trust me). I want to have some shelter for my family soon. I want to write a book to leave trace that I've never exist in this world. Want to have some more wonderful job and activity.

So different with previous year post I don't want to make too long bullshit explanation bit instead just make small thing become true. "To be more grateful and more humble".

For the closing I just want to make same quote by myself for reminder to myself. "Life is beautiful. Be grateful for everything you have but keep fighting to achieve every of your dreams".

A Retrospective of First Wedding Anniversary: Why Your wife must be the most important person in universe?

This month is special month. In November I celebrate my anniversary of marriage and my wife birthday. I get married on 19 November 2011. So, I have been married for 1 year. Time flies. Everything feels just like yesterday. I can remember almost all scenery on last year. How we (me and my wife) were preparing all the wedding things in very short time. I don't wanna re-share again about all those express preparation. I already blabbed somewhere else. I just want to make a retrospective for this one year marriage.

Most of the people will get marriage one time. Some of unlucky couple will decided to divorce. Decision to get married is the most difficult thing to decide for most people. Even more, for religious person, marriage is a commitment to God.

Marriage is often symbolized as a ship with a husband as the captain and the wife as a navigator. Both of them have important role. Captain cannot drive alone and navigator cannot take over the ship. Harmony between husband and wife will determine whether the ship will sail smoothly to the right direction or at the worst case there is possibility the ship will sink when conflict is escalated become so big.

Regarding that ship analogy, there is one value that always emphasized by my parent in laws since the first time I propose my wife. Usually person will choose a spouse based on similarity. Same hobby, same style, same behavior  same education level, same interest, same common attitude, etc. Human love someone who similar with them. This is important because what is the point of married with totally different people. But we have to realize as well that, there is no identical human. Even twin sibling will have considerable differences. More and more for the case man and woman which are fundamentally different. The key is the leverage the differences for the good thing. For example complementing each other. If wife is an expert of speaking and husband is a good writer maybe they can share their knowledge that will make both of them expert of writing and speaking. Of course this is only very shallow example.

After one year, although most of time me and my wife are in long distance, I can conclude several things about marriage. Marriage is sweet at one side but also challenging at the other side. But undoubtedly  marriage will make us fell more peaceful and  Because we will arrive at the position where we have somebody to rely on. There are several challenges as well. Some significant examples are conflict and egoism. It is almost impossible for two human that spent most time together, day and night, summer to summer for don't have any conflict at all. Conflict is a spices in a marriage said some wise person. But too many spices will not the food taste good even can make it throw to the rubbish bin as a garbage.

At the end of this post I want to share a story.

***

One day in one philosophy lecture in one of good university, professor ask a question to the class. "Who are 10 most important person in your life which you will spent most of your life with them? Write in on paper" said the professor.

The student start writing some names. Logically most of them will write closest family like parents, children, spouse, best friends, etc until the list fill up to ten person.

"Now remove 5 of them!" Ask the professor.

In confussion student try to follow the order. Most of them again will remove the so not close person in their life. The will stroke so not best friend. So the 5 person in the list will consist only very important person for them.

"Now remove 4 of them. Leave only one trully most important person for you."

Confussion getting higher. Now the student start to think very hard who have to be removed and leaving only one person. Until sometime the professor ask the class to stop their activity. Then he ask one of his most brilian student to reveal the aswer.

"If I could only choose one, she must be my wife. My wife is the most important person in this world." Said the student.

"Why?" Ask the professor.

"Parents are important, children are important. But in this life we cannot choose who are our parent and who are our children. God decide for us. In other side I choose my wife when the same time she choose me. So if I can select one as the most important person in this world, I will only select my wife"

Dreamer vs Visionary

While I was writing a love email to my wife this morning, I got some topic to write.

I always love to talk about future dream. I like to imagine. I like to aim the target. I love the challenge. Speaking about future dream, actually there are two types of people based on how they react to their dream. First is a dreamer. Obvious. The second one the most important is a visionary. Similar but not same (remember the clause in bahasa: serupa tapi tak sama :p).

A dreamer is a person who just live in his dream. His mind flying here and there like a junkies. He have many things to achieve in his list. Hist mind full of imagination about how is when the dream come true. But this type of person is lack of effort. Most of time, his dream is just a dream. Like a cloud in the sky. Visible but not tangible. Dreamer is a person who look forward but just looking without moving. Who just aim but never shot and the target fly away.

The second type is the best. Visionary is a person who look forward and start to move immediately. He have list of things to do and just do it. Visionary is never wait the perfect moment, he fetch the moment. When he want something he will start then talk. Not talking too much but never start. Aim accurately and shot. He dedicated more effort and any effort to achieve his dream.

By the way, this distinction is based my own analysis, so most likely you will not find elsewhere. This concept also most likely will be not too valid :). By the way again, I share this concept just to make sure to be not too often to be a dreamer but move on more to be a visionary.

Sentimental Rain

I don't have interest yet to meteorology or climatology. But climate (one of theme researched in those mentioned sciences), is always affecting our daily life. One informal signal of season change in tropical country Indonesia can be derived by it's naming. When the naming of the month is end with "ber" like September, October and November, rain season has come.

Rain often brings sentimental feeling. Asphalt is wet, the air is humid and the temperature is cold. Singapore has been poured by rain again almost everyday since last week. But at least in here there will be not too much negative side effect of rain. As far as now, there is no flood or even puddle and without any significant reason usually no traffic jam.

Sometime my memory is thrown back to previous one year in my life. That was when I was still in Jakarta. When I was working, rush hour comes to office and going home from office will be literally rush and hectic. In normal condition, all the vehicle will be stuck in that rush hour. For the driver it will stressful. For the public transport passenger, it will be boring time to home. The situation will be worst when the rain come. Even for very short rain, congestion will be increased significantly. Travel time can be doubled. When I was in university, I remember a moment when some of my friend spent 5 hours to home, because of the rush hour after rain.

Without elaborating too much, on of the main reason of the traffic congestion is overload road capacity. When rain come the congestion become so significant higher because there will be a lot of bottleneck happen on the road. First bottleneck is careless motorist who take shelter in the middle of the road (usually below flyover or bridge) and disturb traffic flow. Second, because vehicle have to queue for passing some small to large puddle.

But that was a memory. Rain or not rain in Singapore the road traffic will be usually same. I just often enjoy sentimental moment in the bus ride to home. Rain is sweet and scary. Sweet because the cold that it brings can make us calm and scary because heavy rain usually brings black cloud with a lot of thunder. In Singapore we just need to wait for the last month with "ber" ending passed to leave this sentimental season. Hopefully can meet another rain season in next year.

Nine Algorithms that Changed The Future

I just finish read John MacCormick book, Nine Algorithms that Changed The Future some days ago. This book describe about algorithm in popular way. The selected algorithms are high level algorithm and not explaining basic algorithm like sorting, data structure and graph. For whom prefer the second  with complicated theoretical explanation can refer to Introduction to Algorithms by Cormen one of the best book about algorithm.

Let's start from the basic. What is algorithm? Formal definition can be found in text book and maybe will cited in wikipedia. For me algorithm can be explained as follow:

Algorithm = Recipes

Recipe is step by step definition to cook food. Same with algorithm, step by step definition to solve problems. But different with recipe which usually executed by human being, algorithm is executed by computer. Recipe can be written in free way and most of time can be understand by executor without to much problem. In the other side algorithm have to be precise in definition without any ambiguity so computer can executed that correctly. Later probably I want to write in more detail with popular way some post about fundamental algorithm.

In the mean time let's going back again to the discussion about the book. This book list following high level algorithm:

1. Search Engine Indexing
2. PageRank
3. Public Key Cryptography
4. Error-Correcting Codes
5. Pattern Recognition
6. Data Compression
7. Databases
8. Digital Signature
9. Computability

The content of the book is delivered with very easy to understand way. I skip reading number one and two because I have read many books about google and Apache Lucene with more and less already explaining basic thing about search engine indexing and PageRank. Public Key Cryptography is an awesome chapter. It describe about Public Key Cryptography using very good analogy. Error-Correcting Codes and Pattern recognition raise my interest again to artificial intelligence  Data compression is delivered with detail description. I skip chapter database and continue to Digital Signature. Digital signature have some similarity with Public Key Cryptography. Digital Signature is one of chapter that took my interest a lot. Digital Signature is a method about how we can sign something and make sure our signature will be not tampered by someone. Last part actually not discussing any specific algorithm but more elaborating a question about is it any thing that can be computed by computer? 

The book is so concise and can be finished reading around 3 hours cumulative reading. Very recommended. Another expectation, I plan to write something relate to Cryptography and Digital Signature.

The Power of Impulse Control

In Emotional Intelegence, one famous book of Daniel Goleman, has emphasized the importance of delayed gratification. This concept is introduced through Marshmallow Experiment conducted by Walter Mischel at Standford University. In that experiment, some children is offered a marshmallow. If the kid can resist not to eat that immediately and wait another 15 minutes he can get one more marshmallow. But for the kid who cannot resist temptation and eat the first marsmallow before 15 minutes then he cannot get second marsmallow.

Some years later, researcher follows progress of the children at adolescence time. Researcher sees "the delayers" -- the child who can wait is somehow more successful rather than "the grabber" -- the child who took gratification directly. The delayers have more impulse control than the grabbers.

Impulse control is an important component of Emotional Intelegence. Impulse control is so easy in concept but need strong commitment in practice. Impulse control is element that distunguish between success people and not too success. Also distinguish honest authority vs corupt authority. Corruption is one habit which a person cannot stand against immediate gratification.

The common sample of impulse control can be found in morning wake up. When we don't have anything to do e.g. In weekend we usually will add sleep time more than necesary even though maybe we also not totally sleep but just lying lazy on the bed. We enjoy to take more sleep rather than wake up directly to do more useful things. In other day when we have an important things todo like going to work or school in the morning we can wake up easier or at least we can push ourself to wake up from the bed. From this sample we can conclude that brain actually have full capacity in controlling how we react again immediate gratification. We just need to train ourself harder to stand against immediate gratification. You can read how we can train ourself in The Power of Practice post.

Hopefully next time when someone offers a marshamallow we can little bit patient and wait hopefully he will give another marshmallow. ;)

Image from: http://ellybeanstalks.blogspot.sg/2012/06/delayed-gratification.html

The Power of Rejection

A few days a go I receive a letter from Germany. My first rejection letter. Few months back I was applying to one master program in TU Ilmenau Germany. The program is so interesting. Research in Computer and System Engineering. Actually I will do anything (in positive way) to be accepted in that program. But unfortunately I was rejected this time. The announcement first come through email. The detail of rejection is coming by post few days back. I am not sure whether I will have another chance if reapply again. But I learn some important things from this experience.

First, rejection is bit. Second, rejection is sweet. The first reason is so tangible. Everyone doesn't like rejection at first moment, for any reason. But somehow, rejection at the moment later will give some useful advantage. New enthusiasm to be not rejected anymore. There three steps that I have identified to react to rejection.

• Accept
• Evaluate
• Retry

The first one is most difficult. Every time I got a rejection, I will lose my mood for couple of days. It has been proven by several time fail in scholarship application. I feel so hate to myself which is not competitive enough to be admitted  The feeling will become worst if not handled properly. The best way to handle it is by accepting the rejection. Sometime when we were rejected is not only because we are not competitive enough. But probably there are some required criteria that is not matched with our profile. This the thing that I learnt form the letter that I receive. My score is not enough to be accepted in Research in Computer and System Engineering mostly because my previous degree is not too similar.

After accepting rejection next is to evaluate. Why is we were rejected? Then do evaluation and prepare strategy adjustment or improvement. Don't be insane! Albert Einstein said: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different result. Adjustment will avoid us to be a donkey that trapped to the same hole. For every evaluation we have done, we will learn enormous experiences.

The last step is retry. With proper evaluation and strategy enhancement we should get different result. In case applying scholarship for example, we supposed to have better application and more prepare for any selection process like interview. We will also more prepared to be rejected again. But whose know if the next time we retry maybe we will success.